Studly young Romeo and his dimwitted college sidekick are
perched near the front door of the girls' dorm. Several
plain Janes walk by as the two converse.
Then a Sharon Stone look-alike emerges from the dorm and
saunters past. Romeo turns, smiles, and -- barely audibly
-- inquires, "Tickle your ass with a feather?"
The young beauty -- startled by what she thinks she heard
-- exclaims "What?!" Without missing a beat, Romeo repeats
"Typical nasty weather?" "Oh," she demures, "yes," and goes
on her way.
More young lovelys walk by and the scene is repeated.
"Tickle your ass with a feather?" "What?"
"Typical nasty weather?"
Finally, Romeo delivers his line,
"Tickle your ass with a feather?" and his prospect stops,
smiles and invites him up to her room.
Now the sidekick, alone, having paid close attention,
decides to try this remarkable new technique. A likely
prospect comes near. The sidekick leers and blurts out,
"Cram a feather up your ass?"
Shocked, the girl spins around and slaps him, to which
he replies, "Looks like rain!"
496 School Jokes to Tell at Recess
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A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke.
His Mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?"
"Uhh, oh yeah, O.K." responded the kid.
So his Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time?"
"Oh, I wrote two checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000 out to him."
"That's $1020!!!" yelled Dad, "Are you going crazy???"
"Don't worry hon," Mom said, kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1,000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 15!"
After the college boy delivered the pizza to Bud's trailer house, Bud asked, "What is the usual tip?"
"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great."
"Is that so?" snorted Bud. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."
"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."
"What are you studying?" asked Bud.
The lad smiled and said, "Applied psychology."
Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos:
- The whole thing all at once.
- One bite at a time
- Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite afterwards.
- In little feverous nibbles.
- Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
- Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
- Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
- Just the cookie, not the inside.
- I just like to lick them, not eat them.
10.I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreos.
Your Personality:
- The whole thing:
This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are to
My mom is a less than fastidious housekeeper.
One evening my dad returned home from work, walked into the kitchen and teased her, "You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel."
Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, "Yes, darling, I know. That's why I married a college graduate."
A case for the Third Universal Cardinal Rule of Thumb: Never
be absolute, unless absolutely necessary:
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In
English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some
languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a
negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can
form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."
While I was visiting my sister at college, we entered the cafeteria, and she immediately warned me to stay away from the main course. "How do you know it isn't good?" I asked. "You haven't even seen it."
She pointed to the tub of peanut butter, which was always available as an alternative, and explained, "Any time there are more than five knives in the peanut butter, you know the food is bad."
No $
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would
like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on.
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an
hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble
task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
Our seven-year-old daughter was thrilled when we took her to Disney World for the first time, and she headed straight for Space Mountain. I worried that the roller coaster would be too scary for her, but she insisted.
To her delight, we rode it twice.
The next year we returned to Magic Kingdom, and my daughter, now eight, again dragged me to Space Mountain.
As we stood in line, though, I could see her soberly studying the signs that warn about the ride's speed.
"Dad," she said, "I don't think I want to go."
I asked her why she would be nervous when she had enjoyed herself last time.
She replied, "This year I can read better!"
Chukchuk is in a Quiz Contest trying to win Prize money of Rs.1 Million US$
The questions are as follows:
-
How long was the 100 yr war?
A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150
Chukchuk says, "I will skip this" -
In which country are the Panama hats made?
A) BRASIL
B) CHILE
C) PANAMA
D) ECUADOR
Chukchuk asks for help from the University students -
In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
A) JANUARY
B) SEPTEMBER
C) OCTOBER
D) NOVEMBER
Sardar asks for help from general public -
Which of these was King George VI first name?
A) EDER
B) ALBERT